I Hate Talking. My hearing is kind of trash, and people either talk so low you can’t hear them, or so loud that it’s somewhat annoying. And it’s some times hard to focus on what some people are saying. So I end up missing some of what everyone says anyway. I also don’t much like my voice- I was teased for the way I talked growing up. Be it the way I said “No,” or how I tried to spell words out for people, or just in general speaking. People would end up thinking I’m slow or something. So I just try to talk as little as possible. It’s why I chose social media and blogging over a Youtube channel or a podcast. Why am I telling you all of this? Well, simply put: I’m leaving my blog. At least for a little bit.
Yeah; I don’t plan to stop blogging anytime in the near or even the distant future. Because I genuinely love the followers- the community that I have going here. It came at a point in my life after High School, when my social life got reset to zero. I’m pretty sure I told you guys about all of this before, haven’t I? How I started with Facebook and then got a blog at my Aunt’s advice because I had no one to talk about all this manga stuff with? It’s like; my brother’s don’t read manga that way that I do, and I don’t like bringing it to them because I feel like I’m just annoying them with stuff they don’t care about. Not that any of my friends in real life were into anime/manga like me anyway. So it was more like graduating High School made me realize just how difficult it is to have all these thoughts on series that I love and no one to talk about it with.
And ever since I started this blog; I’ve had a schedule that I’ve tried to keep. And yeah; there have been a few changes here and there- some segments have gone away like the “DC Movie Pitches” and the “WHAT IF’S” I used to do. And recently I added 2 new series to talk about(which makes this hiatus REALLY F*ckin’ depressing). But with all the stuff going on in my real life; I haven’t had the time to do the things that I’ve wanted- or just haven’t been able to get to them for one reason or another. As my father told me the other day when we went to do a thing: “It’s always something.” Which actually leads me to how it even came to all this: I haven’t been able to watch ANY-GODD@MN-THING. Like; I haven’t seen the last 4 episodes of Jujutsu Kaisen season 1, the last 2 of Dr Stone: Stone Wars, the last DOZEN of the Dragon Quest anime, the new Shaman King anime, or even EDENS ZERO– which I’ve been looking forward to since………I don’t even F*ckin’ REMEMBER!!!!!!!!
I don’t know what happened. One day; my brothers and I ended up missing a week. That turned into 2, then 3, 4, 5- until at some point we just fell so far behind that I feel like they don’t see a point in trying to catch up anymore. And it’s like I try to make plan so we can catch up to everything but my one brother doesn’t like planning these things cause it “feels like work” or because my plans are “dumb.” And sometimes it’s like the old saying goes: ‘You plan- God laughs.” So……….I haven’t been able to watch anime like I used to.
And as far as western animation goes; the site that we use to watch all this stuff doesn’t seem to update us when these new shows come out; it’s why we were a months late on watching the new season of Close Enough. Heck; we didn’t even realize that Book 4(The Final Book) of Infinity Train came out. So we have a lot of sh!t to watch. But like I said: If it’s not my brother thinking it “too much work,” then it’s something that I or we have to go and do. It’s honestly starting to hurt how much I have to watch- cause it’s not even just the stuff we watch together. See; I recently got a new computer. And that’s been taking some getting used to because my old one had to stay on charger to work. So I could technically stay on it all day. But I’m trying not to ruin this one, so I’ve been letting it charge regularly………A lot’s been going on lately.
Last year; my Bearded Dragon Congo died. And it hurt. Even more so because it was THE DAY after the passing of Chadwick Boseman. So at that point; I just couldn’t take anymore of 2020’s sh!t. Heck; even though that’s the thing that hurt me the most- that wasn’t even the worst part of 2020 for me. Out of respect for my mother’s wishes to not put our personal lives out on the internet; I won’t tell you the specifics of my life. But let’s just say it involved a certain bottle. And due to that d@mn bottle; my brother’s and I ended up moving in with my paternal Grandmother- from March of last year to this very moment. But the thing that it impacted most is my mental health and my sense of “self.” No; I was not the one who had that dreaded bottle. But it’s what it caused that really made me think about “me.”
I’m 21 going to be 22 in July. And I’m still living with my parents and Grandparents; I can’t drive; I haven’t had a job yet(which I hope to change in the near future, which is what even prompted all of this); I’m constantly getting money from family members and immediately spend it all on manga on Amazon. I didn’t buy this new computer- my parents did, and that wasn’t even the point of that little “outing.” My baby brother- Smart As H#LL– got all A’s in his advanced classes. That plus Tax time passing equals him getting a new computer and my parents getting me and my other brother “equal attention awards” cause I couldn’t be bothered to put away some of that money in my savings. It’s moments like That that came from the bottle.
I started to really think about myself- my life and what I’ve done since leaving High School. Flunked out of Community college; didn’t get far in the 2nd one I tried cause my father and I couldn’t do the paper work(I can’t even get ready for interview or do paperwork without my dad there to hold my hand every step of the way); and “tried” to go into the Navy, but ultimately quit somewhere along the way. And all that compounded to make me feel like some kind of “parasite.” So I’ve just been doing a lot of chores and stuff to “make up” for being such a mooch. Even though I know that my family doesn’t mind; I feel kind of sh!tty because of what was said by the bottle and the fact that I broke my grandmother’s Futon with my weight. A few month’s ago; I “plopped down” on the bed and it ended up breaking. A Futon she’s had for 30 Godd@mn years, and I ended up breaking it. Now it’s broke again and I haven’t even told her about it. I’ve been using my Dragon Ball box set to keep it in place. I’m gonna tell her, sooner or later.
I’m ultimately telling you guys all of this because I just………I just can’t do it anymore, honestly. I can’t keep up with these posts- I have like 15 others that I’m trying to work on(several series reviews that I can’t finish properly without seeing the episodes, and even more so because I haven’t even seen them yet), and I just can’t keep up with them all. I’ve tried working on them all, but you guys know how “meticulous” I can get. So it’s taking really long to do them all. That, plus the 2 series I added just makes it kind of difficult. And I really do want to talk about Boruto and Four Knights Of The Apocalypse. But I just don’t have the time- especially since I’ve started working a 12 hour temp position on the weekends. So I haven’t been able to do much or anything blog wise in a while.
The thing is; I have job interview on Wednesday, April 28th. The hours are really good; 3:30pm- 9 pm Monday- Thrusday and 1 pm- 7 pm on Friday. If I get it; I’ll be able to do blog stuff on the weekend and maybe even watch some episodes while I’m at it(although my brother also doesn’t like watching episodes the day they come out). It’s the ideal job, honestly. But I need some time to get the “hang of it-” if I even get it. If I don’t; then this little sabbatical I’m taking might end up being a lot longer than anyone suspects. But after 2 years of trying to find a job; I think I’ve found the one that FINALLY suits me. And I want to get it so I can make my own money and really help out. I just need some time to figure some stuff out. And for that to happen; I need to take some time away from here to just enjoy manga for a little bit- to just read instead of write.
It’s funny, actually; I was thinking for a few months now about starting a Patreon. But just like anytime I bring all this up to anyone; I just got the same response from them. To the point where I just stopped bringing up all this serious stuff to anyone- my brother’s don’t care, and I feel like asking a neutral 3rd party would just be bothering them. I just needed to vent; I didn’t need to hear the same Godd@mn advice over and over again! In all honesty; that’s one of the things that lead to me playing Football in High School. Coaches would come up to me time and time and time again trying to recruit to a team and I’d avoid them, but I just couldn’t escape at some point and- much like when I talk about potential jobs- I just kept hearing “I think you’d be good at it.” It’s sh!t like that the made me like Phantom Seer so much; I could relate to the central theme of the series: “Someone’s talents being the opposite of their desires.”
All my life I heard how “good” I’d be at Football, or recently how people tell me how certain jobs would be a “good fit for me.” But I didn’t want to run around in circles holding a ball and running from a bunch of big @$$ dudes, or getting all up in another man’s face- I don’t want to be up at all hours of the night and sleep all f*cking day or whatever. Honestly; I’ve been looking for a place that let’s me work remotely so I can watch TV while I work like I’ve been doing with my blog. Which made me think that I could start a Patreon on do blogging full time. It’s like this field- what I do up here is PERFECT for me. I make the schedule, I get to drift off into tangents and just be me– whereas going in would me talking to people. It’s like; that would just be a whole hassle to do. But I gotta at some point so I can realize my ultimate dream for life: To do absolutely f*cking Nothing.
My goal in life- the thing motivating me to do everything that I’m doing- is the idea that one day; I’ll be able to sit in my massage chair/recliner/seat warmer all day, eating snacks and junk food and fast food until at some point I puke. No people knocking at my door; no phone calls; no emails or anything like that. Just me, the TV, piles or food, and my “throne.” I know everyone dreams of like “travelling” or “meeting new people” or something like that, but……….I don’t want any of that. If people want to “live life to the fullest,” then that’s fine. But my “fullest” is not “the same” as everyone else’s. I don’t want to “explore new countries;” I want to watch new episodes of One Piece on a Roku TV. I don’t want to “climb Mt Everest;” I want to eat Pizza on Friday while I’m watching the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on Paramount+. I mean; that stuffs all well and good, and if that’s something that you yourself want to do- then by all means do so. But I’m content with watching the world collapse from the comfort of my Easy chair. Wow; I just lost a lot of respect from some people there, haven’t I? Oh well…………..
I guess this post has been going on for awhile now. I wanted to get this post out before long, so I just wrote off the cuff. That seems to make this go quicker some times. And look; it’s not like this hiatus is gonna be forever. I just can’t handle it all at the moment- I’m only one guy. Heck; those posts might be finished a little sooner now. They’ll come out periodically until I return, and when important moments happen in each stories- I’ll talk about them. But for now; this is “See You Later.” Until I return; catch up on the manga I’ve recommended to you- the 2 new series I added to the roster- and the new Shonen Jump series Candy Flurry. Cause it’s RIDICULOUSLY GOOD for what the synopsis of the series would have you believe. Read it– and share with all of your friends. And share this blog with everyone you know, too. It means a lot when I get new followers- new people to have discussions with online.
Until We Meet Again, Boys And Girls; Remember To Go Beyond- PLU~~~~S UL~~~~~TRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!